Friday, May 27, 2016

i'm better off when i hit the bottom

I am hollowed out. Distraction is a state of mind.

The seed of depression has grown into a tree inside of me, spreading its members into my fingers, into my throat, out through my eyes. It taints my vision with its logs. All I see is horror and anxiety.

The less I eat, the more it grows. The more I eat, the more it grows. People passing with blank expression, unimpressed by my existence is the MiracleGrow so strong I am afraid to leave my desk for fear of another application. At the meeting this morning, the abrupt cutting off of my sentences-- after each word had to fight to the surface, entangled in these branches-- sliced apart whatever slivers of a person I had left. I am barely alive. The hollow shell of a person is swaying like a blanket on mighty tree.

Dismiss me more. Your apathy is fatal.

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