And when you wake up, everything is going to be fine.

I like music. I quote music lyrics. I live my life by certain lyrics.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

"Open me up and you will see, I am gallery of broken hearts."

"And when you wake up, everything is going to be fine. I guarantee that you'll wake in a better place, in a better time. So you're tired of living? You feel like you might give in? Well, don't. It's not your time."

No matter how you feel or what dark thoughts swirl in your head in a moment, I have found that just going to sleep before doing anything is always best. It doesn't solve any of your problems, but always when you wake you'll be in a better place, at a better time. You'll make a better decision, and if even just for that duration of slumber, you survived just that much longer. Usually I sing these words as I lie on rock bottom, so they are not wrong I suppose.

This morning I am alive and I am beautiful, but I am still just a shell that roams life. A visitor instead of a host. The small hammers of hostility from my peers begin to chip me away as I force myself through the motions of living. I wish I was invisible. I wish I could fall in love with my work so deeply I could block everyone and everything out, but there is nothing inside to love with.

"I'm always dragging that horse around."

"Nothing is real but the pain now. Hold my breathe as I wish for death. Oh please God wake me."

I think it is going to get better. It could be worse.